Take one of the most stressful of life’s situations – the break up of a marriage or long term relationship – and stir it up painfully with an adversarial legal approach which emphasises individual gain over a just process valuing all involved, including children. That is what Family Mediation Northern Ireland (FMNI) seeks to avoid by providing a professional but friendly-as-possible and accessible mediation process.
Family Mediation Northern Ireland (FMNI) was formed in 2000 as an independent consortium and achieved charitable status in 2004. Prior to 2000, Relate had provided a mediation service for separating couples but this ended, mainly for financial reasons – it is expensive to provide.
FMNI has recently received funding from the Health and Social Care Board to provide a free service around Northern Ireland where cases have not already reached the courts. It is hoped that this, plus a publicity campaign which began last year with funding provided by DHSSPS, will help make FMNI’s approach known and available to many more people. In the Republic, 10% of the number of family separation/divorce cases going to the District Court go to mediation, partly because of the provision of resources in this area for a number of years; the proportion involved in Northern Ireland is smaller so there is considerable scope for growth. There is also an increase in the number of court-referred cases in Northern Ireland but these can be referrals of ‘last resort’ so they are not easy cases to arrive at an amicable settlement. FMNI already has a bank of 16 family mediators dotted around Northern Ireland so, where possible, meetings can take place at a convenient and friendly relatively local venue.
Apart altogether from the adversarial nature of the legal system, the courts can be clogged up and a divorce settlement can easily take a couple of years and could take up to 6 or 8 years to be finalised. Meanwhile families and the needs of children move on, and especially if there are young children involved the possible lack of contact for a couple of years can mean a significant break in the relationship with the parent not resident with the children. And the adversarial process does nothing to comfort the children concerned in the whole process.
The mediation process, however, begins through one partner contacting FMNI; at present most users of the service are either self referrals via DHSSPS publicity (e.g. coming across the leaflet in a Health Centre) or word of mouth, professional referral (e.g. GP, solicitor, relationship counsellor) or recommendation of court. After an initial enquiry there is a pre-mediation appointment with this one person where they explain their issues and the mediation process is outlined. Their partner is then invited in for a similar meeting. If the case is deemed appropriate for mediation there could typically be 3 or 4 meetings of one and a half hours with both separating partners.
The end result is, hopefully, a joint Memorandum of Understanding which is not a legal document but can be turned into one relatively easily with the assistance of solicitors. This Memorandum can involve fine detail as well as agreement about longer term issues concerning assets, parenting commitments, how new partners will be introduced to children, holidays etc. If a couple come for three or four joint meetings then FMNI analysis shows 70% resolve all outstanding issues. A review at three months subsequently can take up any problems with implementation, and if further issues come up (e.g. regarding changing needs of maturing children) then separated couples can come back to discuss further; FMNI are clear that the Memorandum is a living document. Above all, the mediation process involves trying to keep those involved communicating.
How things will develop in the future is hard to predict. This will continue to be a growth area because many more cases which go to law could be resolved satisfactorily through mediation, at considerably less financial cost and with the possibility of infinitely less angst. Whether mediation should be mandatory for separating couples before getting to the courts is one of those thorny questions difficult to answer, especially as to whether it removes the ‘voluntary’ underpinning of mediation, but it may be a real question in the future. Sheena having previously had to leave the discussion to prepare for a supervision, Joan and myself were agreed on a final point; developing mediation as a life skill is a major cultural and societal shift but one which is necessary – making mediation and conflict resolution processes understood and available in all spheres of life. FMNI are working and developing its availability in one particularly difficult area, for those passing through separation and divorce.
Joan Davis is Manager at FMNI and Sheena Bell is Professional Practice Consultant.
FMNI intend running and delivering a Foundation Training in Family Mediation starting in April, details still to be finalised but probably over weekends. Further information will be available from FMNI.
Contact:
Family Mediation Northern Ireland (FMNI),
7 University Street, Belfast BT7 1FY.
Telephone: 028 90243265,
e-mail:
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
Website: www.familymediationni.org.uk
Leaflets and posters are available on request.
